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i.
sometimes when i wake up
before the sun rises, when i’m all alone
and it feels like i might be the only person in the world

i notice that my face is wet

and i wonder if it’s because
i’ve been swimming with you in my dreams

ii.
i remember you
in the summer nights under the corsican stars
and the warmth of your skin in the cold seawater

i remember
how the phosphorescence coated our bodies
as we swam together,  
the salty tang of the ocean and your fingers up my spine
and us glowing like soft stars in the night

i remember how i wished it could last forever

iii.
now i wonder if the tides and my tears
were so different after all

edit 28/12/13: i can't believe i got a DD on this, i'm not sure what to say other than thank you so much!



dedicated to sophia ~nyogu, let's always be mermaids in our dreams.

i actually like the way this turned out!
i've been identifying a lot with mermaids lately. i don't know what it is about them, or me, i guess. pretty inspired by molly bloom's soliloquy from ulysses and stories of nereids in greek myth.

how does this poem make you feel? is there a story behind it? what does the imagery evoke in your mind? how effective is the tides/tears comparison?
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-12-28
letters from the sea by ~Hildetann ( Suggested by Halatia and Featured by BeccaJS )
:iconshep4life:
shep4life Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Wonderful!
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2014  Student Writer
thank you c:
Reply
:iconshep4life:
shep4life Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome!!
Reply
:iconchinook84:
Chinook84 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014
Congrats on the DD, first of all. It's well deserved. 

You have very flowing writing, and yes, the tides and tears comparison makes a powerful image.
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Student Writer
thank you so much c:
Reply
:iconstarlightcomet:
StarlightComet Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is kind of a bittersweet poem that really tugs at the heart. I loved it :3
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Student Writer
thank you <3
Reply
:iconstarlightcomet:
StarlightComet Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconpolislava:
polislava Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013
Love the sea as a metaphor for tears. It's original and true..
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Student Writer
thank you, im glad you liked it c:
Reply
:iconpolislava:
polislava Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014
It's a fine work :)
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Student General Artist
It makes me feel the warm salty sea in the waves at night, and wow..... :hug: I'm just dreaming as I write this!
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Student Writer
thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Student General Artist
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconkawaiishootingstar:
KawaiiShootingStar Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013
This is incredible! So sad, yet so beautiful... I really like it~!. <3
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Student Writer
thank you very much :heart:
Reply
:iconanimesketch12:
Animesketch12 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013
Such an amazingly beautiful writing :meow:
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Student Writer
thank you c:
Reply
:iconanimesketch12:
Animesketch12 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013
Ur welcome :meow:
Reply
:iconrainbowkitten96:
RainbowKitten96 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
This is so-beautiful :iconso-awesomeplz:
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Student Writer
thank you, i'm glad you enjoyed it c:
Reply
:iconrainbowkitten96:
RainbowKitten96 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
No problem.
Reply
:iconhaemith:
haemith Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Amg I'm so glad this got a DD, this is so beautiful~~! ;v;
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Student Writer
ah, thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconlollirotcat:
lollirotcat Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
This is beautiful!! Congrats on the DD! :heart:
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
thank you so much c:
Reply
:iconlollirotcat:
lollirotcat Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome! :D
Reply
:iconcassia-hope:
Cassia-Hope Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013

This is very well written. It has a sad calm about it and made me feel an odd sense of longing. I feel as though I was drifting in the sea, waiting for someone from the past that I'll never see again.

I'm happy that you got a DD, this piece truly deserves it.

Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
wow, thank you. :heart: i still can't believe it myself.
Reply
:iconcassia-hope:
Cassia-Hope Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013
You're welcome dear, keep up the good work!! c:
Reply
:iconbubblemoth:
bubblemoth Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
CONGRATS ON THE (RLY WELL DESERVED) DD OH MY GOSH!!! WELL DONE!!! :dummy:
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
THANK YOU SO MUCH BB :heart: i still cant believe it haha
Reply
:iconnyogu:
nyogu Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ugh B A B E you're still my favorite mermaid poet. i don't think i can answer the questions because all i want to do is kiss ur feet, but you get the idea. I'M SUPER PROUD <333
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH :heart:
please dont kiss my feet they are very cold

and you are MY favourite mermaid poet. :love:
Reply
:iconworldwar-tori:
WorldWar-Tori Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013   General Artist
Awesome writing, it's very touching.
Congrats on the DD, well deserved :heart:
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
thank you so much ; u;
Reply
:iconworldwar-tori:
WorldWar-Tori Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013   General Artist
you're welcome :heart:
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
Wow, this is so gorgeous. Congrats on the DD! You deserve it!
And to answer your questions:

how does this poem make you feel?

It makes me feel sad and a little bit nostalgic, like I can't quite remember a memory from long ago, or a past life.

is there a story behind it?

I believe that there is; but the story depends on the experiences of the reader, and that is why this poem is great.

what does the imagery evoke in your mind?

I can feel the pull of the waves, and the longing ache in my heart. :heart:

how effective is the tides/tears comparison?

Very effective. It's not a comparison that's used a lot, and so it evokes a great image.
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Student Writer
thank you so much for the crit! <3
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014  Student Writer
You are very welcome!
Reply
:iconserenesouls27:
Serenesouls27 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I loved the tides and tears comparison.
..may be the sea is filled with happy and sad tears.
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
i think so too.
thank you very much for reading. :heart:
Reply
:iconserenesouls27:
Serenesouls27 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconyourwelcomeplz::iconyourwelcomeplz2::iconyourwelcomeplz3:
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:clap:
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
:la:
Reply
:iconsmilkey:
smilkey Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Such a beautiful piece, nice and simple, relatable. It arises some emotions lol :iconexcitedblushplz: Really nice comparison with the tears and tides :happybounce:
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
thank you very much. :heart:
Reply
:iconsmilkey:
smilkey Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
weeelcome :)
Reply
:iconlady-yume:
Lady-Yume Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013   Writer
This is gorgeous, beautiful imagery and in a way truly subtle in its storytelling :heart:
Congrats on a well-deserved DD! :clap:
Reply
:iconhildetann:
Hildetann Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
thank you so much :heart:
Reply
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